The Ball Loss Arc
by YnzYnz-chan
Summary: Gintoki Sakata lost his memory for the second time. His doctor explained his case in a more complicated ways and compared his memory loss like losing his balls that everyone misunderstand. And so, to be able to retrieve his 'balls', friends and even enemies set on a journey to hunt and gather the magical, powerful orbs that can grant any wish. (Formerly The Boru Arc) No Pairings.
1. Chapter I

**I Do Not own GINTAMA**

**Chapter One - Messed up Memory and Balls**

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"It's a very rare case, I may say. Losing his memory for the second time was a quite dangerous situation to be precised." The doctor said as he read the patient's daily chart. Everyone in the room feel worried and sorry for the silver-haired samurai who apathetically looking at them. "This is the first time I encounter a case like Sakata-san. This time, his case can't be compared to a branches of tree." He added.

"What was that supposed to mean, doctor?" Shinpachi asked worriedly as he pulled up his eyeglass. "Is that dangerous?"

The doctor look at Shinpachi from head to toe before utter a words. "Listen carefully you virgin boy." The four-eyed teen felt embarrassed and pissed off at the same time but choose to ignored. "It's a hopeless case. Let just say that he is a man without a balls hanging between his legs.."

"A-a balls?" Shinpachi exclaimed. "How is that connected on his memory loss...it doesn't make any sense doc..."

"A virgin boy like you won't understand the connection. Let me explain. Imagine Sakata-san standing in front of you naked. Imagine looking at his crotch without his balls...

The teenage boy blush and yell. "It has nothing to do with his memory...doc..!"

"You're wrong...the first time he lost his memory was like cracking his balls, and for the second time it completely break and totally lost those balls...

Shinpachi just narrow his eyes. "It has nothing to do with his memory..." He insisted.

On the side, Kagura munching some snack belongs to the patient suddenly clasp her hand." I see. I get what you mean doc! You're saying that Gin-chan losing his memory for the second wasn't the same as the Gin-chan we know."

"Yes...you almost get it." The doctor replied.

Shinpachi sweatdrop. _'What the hell... I didn't get it at all_."

"Shinpachi-kun let me give you another example." The doctor said, as if he can read what on the teenage boy's mind. "Imagine again Sakata-san standing in front of you naked. Seeing his stick between his legs without his balls, what the first thing you will think?"

The megane boy hold onto his chin and think. "Hmm...he's a pervert?"

"No you're wrong,,.you stupid virgin boy." Kagura scolded. "I get it now doc. It's means that you cannot longer distinguish whether Gin-chan is a man or a woman. Despite that stick hanging there, without his balls you can't say he is a real man." She pouted, annoyed on how slowly Shinpachi unable to figured out the situation.

"You're absolutely right Kagura-chan. So what I'm trying to say is that by totally losing his memories he's no longer the old Sakata-san as same as we all know. Same goes by saying that you can't call him a man without those balls neither call him a woman because of his stick..."The doctor finished his lectured and left the room.

'_What the hell...his explanation is more complicated than Gin-san's situatuion.'_

"Gintoki." Tsukuyo called, just arrived after the doctor left. "Forgive me." She sincerely apologized, carrying a box of cake for the silver-hair samurai and handed it to Shinpachi. "It's all my fault. If I didn't dragged you on that mess, you won't gonna lost your balls." She touched the samurai's shoulder before she turned her back on him, walked to the window of the room and looked up at the clear blue sky. "How can I able to look at you now..." Tried to concealed the tears that started to welled up on her eyes.

"Ano Tsukuyo-san... Gin-san didn't lose his..."

"No! It can't be! Gin-san, Gin-san...please tell me this wasn't true!?" Sarutobi cried, suddenly popped out of nowhere and shaking the patient's body recklessly. "How about our wedding? How about the babies we're planning to make...how...how... I can't accept it... And I don't even had a chance touch your balls...and now they're gone." She cried louder, covering her face with her both hand. Like Tsukuyo, she walked and stood in front of the window, back facing the silver-hair samurai.

Gintoki's eyes traveling between the two women's back confusedly. "Um... I... I don't..."

Tsukuyo raise her hand that made Gintoki to stop talking. "Don't say a word Gintoki...you have a right to be upset..." She said without facing the amnesiac samurai.

"My deepest sympathy and apology." Kyuubei said as she entered the room. She bowed her head at Gintoki and the rest as a greetings then approached Tsukuyo and Sarutobi to gently pats their shoulders. "It's all my fault Tsukuyo-san, so please don't blame yourself. If I just have more courage and strength this won't gonna happen."

"What do you mean Kyuubei-san?" Shinpachi asked curiously.

"If I just asked Sakata-san earlier to donate his balls for me, he won't gonna lost his balls in a more devastating ways." She stated calmly.

"What the...?! He's gonna lost it...so what's the difference? And by the way he don't lost his ba..."

"My, my what is this Gin-san. If I knew that you will lost your balls... I wish I cut them myself and added to my omelette to see how does it taste. " Tae Shimura said as she enter the room with a huge sweet smile on her face.

"Anueu... Will you please stop it?" Shinpachi quite embarrassed on how his sister talks about Gintoki's balls tactlessly. "Why no one is listening to me? I keep telling you people Gin-san didn't lost his..."

"Enough Shinpanchi! Don't you see how depressed Gin-chan now. You don't how does it feel to lost a balls." Kagura shouted.

"I'm telling you too... Gin-san didn't lost his..."

"It's enough Shinpachi-kun...it's no use." Catherine interrupted, stopped him from explaining and pointing at the other girls who starts arguing on what they must do if Gintoki's balls was on their possession.

"But..."

"Shinpachi-sama, Madame Catherine and Kagura-sama was right. You're voice no longer reaches them, they won't gonna hear you. According to my data, once a women attracted at the same man at the same time, they get jealous then fight. Not just to win his heart, but also to win his balls. "

Shinpachi gawk at Tama. '_Just what kind of data was that'_ And he decided better not to say anything at all. He sigh and watch as his sister with the rest bickering over the silver-hair guy who is now unconscious due to the punches and kicks he got from the girls fighting over him.

Outside the room, Yamazaki and Sasaki heard the rest of their conversation. For some reason, tears flow like a river and snots coming in and out thru their nostrils.

"Tetsunosuke-kun..." Yamazaki called in between his tears. "This is unacceptable. Sakata-san help and save us many times especially during the Shinsengumi crisis. He's the one who brought back Hijikata-san to the battlefield and help him to be himself again. But why this is happening to Sakata-san, he saved so many lives. He don't deserve lost his balls...huhu"

Sasaki wipe his tears. "I remember during the Baragaki arc, I thought he really throw me off the building, but in reality he just wanted to save me and fight along with vice-chief. To tell you the truth I started to like him for being strong and kind person."

"You're right...he may be look like that...but he's actually cool main character." Yamazaki wiped off his tears and stood straight. "It's no use Tetsunosuke-kun. Crying here like a baby won't help him. We must do something." He said in full determination, balling his fists like in a fight stance.

Sasaki did the same. After wiping off their tears and fix themselves, the two Shinsengumi headed out of the the hospital, preparing themselves to whatever danger they might face to be able to help the silver-hair samurai.

* * *

Midnight. After searching all over the town for possible help they can get, Yamazaki and Sasaki finally went back to the headquarters.

"Kondo-san. Okita-san." Yamazaki kneeled and bowed his head to his superiors along with Sasaki. "Please allow us to do this journey."

"Please we beg you Kondo-san, Okita-san. We're willing to commit sepukku after this. Just give us permission to go for this journey." Sasaki added, without lifting up his head.

"I understand that you respect and at the same time felt sorry for Gin-san. But it's not your duty to risk your lives to retrieve his balls. Although I also feel sorry for him." Kondo stated, looking somewhere who cares whatever it is. Flashback coming through to his mind. The memories of the fights along with Gintoki. "He's a strong-will man. Losing his balls won't gonna affect his dignity as a man." He said, teary-eyed.

"We understand Chief, but this is the only way we know to repay him for saving our Shinsengumi."

"Say...how do you plan to regain his balls." Okita asked, finally joined their conversation.

Yamazaki and Sasaki look up and sit properly. Both exchange meaningful gazes first before talks again. "We're going to Planet Namek to hunt and gather the magical orbs the granted any wish." They said in chorused.

Kondo and Okita suddenly gain interest and sit across. "A magical orbs that granted any wish?" The chief asked.

"Yes, Kondo-san. It's called the Dragon Ball."

Kondo and Okita widen their eyes and take their words seriously. "I see.. It's a Dragon Ball that can grant any wish you say." Both stated in unison, touched their chin and smiled deviously.

_**to be continued...**_

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_**A/N: English is not my native language. This is my first Gintama fanfic so please be gentle on me. **_

**_ I appreciate any kinds of reviews. ^_^_**


	2. Chapter II

**Chapter 2 - Parodies are legal, damn it!**

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"Well." Kondo calmed down and hid his excitement about the certain magical orbs and faced the two youngters. "Care to explain first on how did you found out about the Dragon ball?" He asked. '_Otae-san...you'll be my bride soon..._' He thought himself while Okita having a hard time on which he must wish the most, for Hijikata to die or for China girl to defeat.

Yamazaki look at Sasaki before answering the Chief's question, as if asking for help. He smile nervously and starts to talk. "Um...it's quite a long story."

"Then make it short." Okita retorted.

Yamazaki elbow Sasaki for assistance, then starts narrating "Um...after we visit and heard the bad news about Sakata-san, we decided to patrolled around the town to gather some information on how we can help regain his balls."

"While in the town, we saw some green-skinned Amantos starts gathering in a discreet place. They're looked suspicious so we follow them secretly to see what they're up to. We heard that they talking about a certain person named Brieza being killed by someone and spilled out a slimy magical orbs called Dragon ball that no one knows where it goes." Sasaki added, came to the rescue.

Okiat stand and prepare his bazooka. "Are you both messing up with us?"

Both sweat in cold and kneel in front of Okita, begging for their lives. "Please, Captain please listen to us..."

Kondo stop the young captain and motion him to sit and listen. "Continue..."

"And..." Yamazaki's body trembled by the captain's murderous glared. "And so...from what he heard when those magical orbs gathered and completed all you have to do is to summon the dragon to make your wish and he'll grant it for sure."

Kondo's vein pop on his temple, piss off. He stand and tap Okita's shoulder. "Do whatever you want. I won't stop you this time."

"Waaaa..please believe us...we're telling the truth. It's true that the Dragon ball exist and it really grant any wish." The two screamed on top of their lungs, lives depending on it.

"Dragon Ball you say?" Hijikata showed up and lit a cigarette. "It's a futile effort to go and search for it."

Sasaki and Yamazaki lighten up by a little hope and run at Hijikata's side. "Hijikata-san you know about it? Please tell the chief and captain that it really exists."

"Yes...it does...but it's pointless to hunt for it now." He said in between puffing his cigarette.

"What do you mean Hijikata-san?"

"Because I'm the one who killed Brieza and picked up those slimy balls." He said arrogantly. Then all of a sudden, Okita fired his bazooka that almost hit him. "What the fuck was that for?"

"It's called Dragon ball Hijikata-san." And fired another shot. "You're obviously lying...prepared to die. Sayonara!" And another shot that Hijikata barely dodged.

"It's true damn it! Remember when smoking was banned all over Edo, I forced to traveled to Planet Hamek just to smoke. When I arrived there, the planet was almost destroyed by that guy Brieza. He has no idea how hard I've been through just to smoke. As for revenge, I hunted and killed him !"

"Ano...um.. Hijikata-san we're going to Planet Namek not Hamek."

"Moron! It's the same! We're doing a parodies here so were not allowed to mentioned the actual names!"

"Hijikata-san." Called Okita. "Parodies are legal, damn it."

"Bastard! I know that! And thanks to Sorachi-sensei, damn it!"

"So Toshi you're saying that you already had those magical obs...so where is it now?" Kondo asked excitedly. He hoped to see and make his wish once he got a hold of it.

"I had it once...but I already wish on it."

"Huh? You wish for what?"

Hijikata puff a cigarette and look up at sky. "Well, you might not believe it... I wished to revived someone's father. Derude's father." And other fired from Okita's bazooka. "What the hell Mayo!"

"We don't know any Derude in here. You're messing up with us too, Mayo."

"I tell you it's true damn it, so it's useless to travel and search for that stupid magical orbs, Mayo!"

Yamazaki and Sasaki disappointed and slumped down the floor, losing all the little hope they have. "So we can't be able to help Sakata-san."

"Never give up, ho ho ho. If you give up, that's the end of the game." Someone shouted from outside the room. "We, the Shinsengumi never give up without even trying." The very familiar voice lectured.

Everyone in the room can feel the very cold wind coming from outside that give them shivers within their spines. They hurriedly withdraw their swords and get ready to attack. "Show yourself damn it! Don't hide in the dark!"

Everybody prepare themselves and swords when they heard a big steps approaching them. "It's good to see you all in good, Isao, Toshi, Sogo..." The three of them frightened, covered in a cold sweats as they recognized the calm and authoritive voice coming near them.

The unrecognized silhoutte from the dark finally showed up that terrified everyone in the room. It was a human- sized monster with the actual head of the human. "Mo...monster!" And everyone ran for their lives but unfortunately the door was locked and just gathered in the corner of the room.

"Se...sensei..." Kondo swallowed hard as he was hundred percent sure that the said monster was their former comrade. He so damn nervous and could feel how his heart beating as if wanting to burst out to his mouth. "But...but...you...you're dead."

"Ito-san...please don't eat me." Yamazaki begged when he realized that it was indeed their former adviser and pushed Sasaki forward. "Eat Tetsunosuke-kun he's fat and more delicious..."

"Se...sensei...I know you're upset with us..."

Okita shoved Hijikata forcefully in front of them. "Ito-san, this guy is the one who killed you so eat him..."

Ito throw a sorrowful look and silently sit on tatami floor. "I know, I look so scary and no one can't blame you...but please don't. I am not a monster." He said on his usual tone.

"Se...sensei...you mean you're not a monster...so it means you're a ghost, right?" Kondo asked despite of his fear.

"No I am not. Neither ghost or a monster. Although I know I'm more look like a monster than a ghost. By this monstrous body with a huge hole in it... I understand your reaction." He smiled bitterly that made everyone feel pitied for the former adviser and decided to sat around him, but not letting their guards down.

"Say Ito-san...if you're not a ghost or a monster what are you?"

"I'm a shallow."

"A shallow?!" Asked everybody.

"Yes, a shallow."

"You mean a Hollow, just like what I read in Jump." Hijikata insisted.

"No. Shallow and Hollow might look the same but we actually have a huge diferrence. Our holes."

"Huh?"

Ito stand and points at the huge hole on his crotch and turn his head not to see their reaction while looking carefully at his monstrous body.

"How do you end up like that Sensei?"

Ito sit again, cross-leg and let a very deep sigh. "Once a Shinigami failed to do a soul burial that will send us, a wandering soul or Pluses as they call it to Soul Society, most of us ended as a Hollow or a Shallow.."

"What's the difference Ito-san.?" Okita asked curiously, still holding his bazooka just in case.

"Hollow are a soul that lost their hearts so they have a hole on their chests and ended up in Hueco Mundo. While us, a Shallows resides in Yagba Mundo lost our ..." And he hesitated to continued, cheek stained crimson. "Lost our...our..."

Kondo notice his hesitation and touch his back. "You don't have to say it...Sensei...please allow me." And he looked meaningfully at the former Shinsengumi while the latter just nodded his head. "During the last fight between Toshi and Sensei, something unexpected happened that I kept a secret from all of you due to my respect to sensei..."

"Isao..." Ito could feel his face burning in embarassment.

"Toshi accidentally cut Sensei's balls and nowhere to find..." He said with a tears flowing down his cheeks. "Sensei...forgive me..."

"I appreciate it Isao. It's not your fault."

Hijikata glare at Ito and sneer. "Why do I have this feeling that you show up here of all times because you're interested in this magical orbs."

Ito taken aback chuckle and look at Hijikata. "You're sharp as ever Toshi. You might be right. But I'm not interested in that slimy Dragon Ball you're blabbering about."

"Then what?"

"Recently I learnt about this powerful balls that can grant not just one but three wishes. I understand Yamazaki-kun and Sasaki-kun feels toward Sakata-san as we now have the same situation. I admit that the samurai guy did a big help to save our Shinsengumi. And I want to take this opportunity to help him and at the same to regain my own balls too so I can finally rest in peace."

"I see... You're a selfish as ever Ito...but..." His words was interrupted when some of their members barged in the room unannounced.

"Chief! Vice-chief we're penetrated by the enemy! It's Katsura the terorrist!"

"You bastard Zura!" Hijikata shouted and draw his shoulder then run after Katsura.

"It's not Zura...it's Katsura!" Thanks for that wonderful information, Shinsengumi. I can able to help Gintoki, to overthrow the Amanto and Bakufu at the same time! Ja na!" And he's gone through the smoke bomb he created.

"It seems we have another visitor." Okita said as he slashed the wooden door and revealed the vice-chief of Mimawarigumi. "A murderer this time."

"Isaburo might gives me some rewards for this important information." Nobume said, and just blink of an eye she disappeared in front of the Shinsengumi members.

"Damn it!"

"Ito!" Hijikata called out the former advisor and throw one of his uniform. "We're waiting for your command. Make it quick."

"To... Toshi." The former adviser can't helped it but cried at Hijikata's gesture." "I ... I don't..."

"Sensei we're waiting for your instructions." Kondo said with a warm smile along with the rest of the members.

Ito can tell that they already forgiven him for what he did and simply wipe off the tears of happiness, drape the uniform on his shoulder since it's too small for him to wear and stand tall with pride and dignity in front of them. "Everyone, prepare yourselves for a journey! This is our battle!" And everyone smile and gathered around to embraced him, never give a damn about his scary appearance.

_**To be continued...**_

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**A/N: -_- Boru is a Japanese word for Ball- _so it's actually The Ball Arc**

** 'Never give up' quotes belongs to Anzai-sensei of Slam Dunk. (It was mentioned before but I forgot what episode it is. Sorry) One of my favorite quotes ever. I think I don't have to named the rest of the parodies since it always mentioned in Gintama. forgive me about the Hollow thingy since I am not so familiar with Bleach. (Guess I have to watch it later) I just do a little research for the sake of this fanfic, damn it... Lolz.**

*** I just made up Shallow and Yagba Mundo for the sake of this fic as well. **

**Enjoy and Review ^_^**


	3. Chapter III

**Chapter 3 - Girls shouldn't say the words Yagba and Yagbols in front of their male friends...coz it's nasty**

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"And so I must keep it a secret from the Young Master." Explained the Yagyuu's strongest dojo guardian, Toujou Ayumu while his head bowed down. "Forgive me for being rude and pesky, but I'm begging you to help me on this journey." He begged at the long-hair man in front of him.

"Are you aware that the Young Master of yours actually overlapped with my character, and I'm not happy with it."

"I'm fully aware of that Katsura-san. Perhaps that's one of the reason I came to you and besides, you know Sakata-san more than anyone else. I must do something to help Sakata-san to regain his balls and at the same time to cured the Young Master's depression about the incident." He sighed. "Now that the Young Master started to awaken her womanhood because of him...and this is happening." Sighed again in disappointment.

Katsura along with Elizabeth touch their chin and think for awhile. "I see. And you're saying that you know where exactly shall I find that powerful ball that can grant any wish. From what I heard the Dragon Ball no longer exists because Hijikata-san of Shinsengumi already found it and used it."

Toujou raise his head and sit properly. "Yes. It's located in a remote planet called Yagba Mundo."

"Yagba Mundo?"

"Yes. A long time ago, Yagba Mundo was owned and operated by the Yagyuu Clan. It was used as a training ground for our warriors before sending them here on Earth." Toujou stated with a glint of loneliness on his eyes. "During that time, one of the strongest warrior was given a powerful ball that'll give him three wishes as a reward. And he do make a wish, and it's granted. And when the rest of the warriors found out about it, they became greedy and started to fight over it until they kill each other. The strongest warrior for being the strongest, left alone on the planet." He snipped as a tears rolls down while narrating the ancient story. "And because of that, the said warrior can't forgive himself for what happened. He's gone crazy and cut the corpses balls...and then...he...committed a seppuku by cutting his own...balls."

Katsura and Elizabeth not realizing the river of tears freely flowing to their cheeks. The terrorist leader touch Toujou's shoulder to comfort him. "How sad and terible. I never knew that there was a sad story behind that planet and that rumored powerful ball. It's just like the love story I've watched recently when the lovers decided to kill themselves and promised to meet and to be together afterlife because of their families against their forbidden love. Forgive me for asking too much."

Elizabeth holds up a placard. '_They're so irrelevant, Katsura-san.'_

"It's fine...it's because the elders of the clan wanted to kept it as a dark secret of the family. And so, the Clan leaders that time settled to totally wiped out that planet by putting a barrier which made it become spiritual and can't be reach by a human or any living things and even other souls unless it's the same kind."

"What was that supposed to mean?"

"It became haunted or rather a home for a souls who trapped inside the planet. A human souls who died with a same cause of death could only enter to that place. Shinigami themselves can't be able to do a soul burial to send those souls wandering around. And since then Shallows born."

"Shallows?" Katsura recalled the weird creature he saw at the Shinsengumi headquarters who talked about the powerful ball. "I saw one, apparently it was the former adviser of the Shinsengumi, Kamotarou Ito."

"I see. The barrier were certainly weaken now. Usually when Shallow formed, they can only travel between the Hueco Mundo where the creatures called Hollow resides and Yagba Mundo and there's some incident that they can get in to the Soul Society. It's a catastrophe if more of those Shallows escaped and made their way here in the real world. It must be stopped all at once. Those Shallows must send to Soul Society because they are also after that powerful ball, the Yagbols."

"Yagbols?" Katsura asked.

"Yes, that's the name of the ball. It's says that there's still two more wishes left. There's also some rumored that the ball broke and scattered all over the planet. From what I heard, when the powerful ball granted all the wishes it turns back into it's real form, a sword."

"A sword? I thought it's a ball?"

"Yes Katsura-san it's in a ball shape but in reality it's a sword. It's one of the most powerful sword ever created by the Yagyuu Clan. Up until now, the rest of those swords was possessed by some believed to be a mighty warriors somewhere, that no one really knows who or what and where..."

Katsura calm himself then glare. "So what you're implying here is to get those swords back in your possession more than you're desire to help Gintoki's balls retrieval." He said nonchalantly.

Toujou taken by surprise then smirk. "As expected from the Joiu leader, the Unstoppable Kotarou Katsura. You're keen and straight-forward person as a rumor say. I won't deny nor admit it. But we must admit, the both of us gain something important from this journey if you allow me to take you there as my comrade."

"How do you plan to get in that planet Toujou-san? You know I'm the most wanted man in Edo and it won't be easy for me to travel in Space."

The Yagyuu guardian smile cheekily. "I already asked for assistance from a elite police officer."

"A police officer?" Katsura asked worriedly. "You know that I -"

"No need to worry Katsura-san. This person knows everything, he's willing to escort and help us. And he reassure me that he'll not do anything to put you in prison."

Katsura narrow his eyes thinking deeply whether he'll trust the man in front of him or not.

"I know a certain person who could able to send us to Yagba Mundo without passing the Terminal." Toujou added, not even bother to wait for Katsura's answer.

_Meanwhile, in Yagyuu mansion..._

"Why I didn't think about it before?" Kyuubei Yagyuu asked herself while tapping her finger on the table." Now that Sakata-san's balls are gone...maybe I should ask Shinpachi-kun to donate one of his ball to me. It'll probably gonna work." She smiled as she left her room, without noticing the pair of eyes peeping on her from the window.

_'What a scary woman-'_ murmured the owner of those pair of eyes.

* * *

Kondo, Hijkata and Okita who decides to take the mission personally with Ito and leaving the Shinsengumi on Sasaki and Yamazaki's hands was now in dazed, rather flabbergasted on what they witness right now.

Just a moment ago, they were all standing in front of a small convenient store, thinking on why on Earth they have to enter at that store waiting Ito for some acceptable explanation.

And now, all of them standing in a huge spacey underground as if they were in another world.

"My, my! Sugoi sugoi! What is this?! A huge cavern beneath the store!. Sugoi!" Exclaimed the man wearing a dark green shirt and pants underneath his dark coats matches with a green-striped bucket hat and traditional Japanese sandal.

"Shut up!" Hijikata growled in annoyance. "We're pretty damn surprise, so you don't have to say it loud damn it!"

"Haha. What a rude guest I have" the man chuckled and turned to Ito. "Ne, Ito-san if I'm not mistake this guy must be Hijikata-san. You sure have a hot-headed best friend in here." Pointing at Hijikata while the latter puffed his cigarettes and furrowed his eyebrow in what the man just said. "And I could feel their undeniably strong reaitsu within their fragile bodies. "

"Shut up! Fragile bodies my ass. You must be talking about yourself! And he's not my bestfriend!"

"Haha... Just like Ito-san said, you're truly a pissy-throbby-vein- person."

"Hijikata-san, there's no need to deny it-" Okita said expressionless.

"What the..." He cutted in when the man in green-striped bucket hat phone rung.

"Hello?... I see... .." Nodding while listening on the line. "Let me see what I can do about it..." The man smiled widely at Hijikata. "Where were we again? I'm sorry for the interruption."

"What I am saying is I am not a throb-" Interrupted again when the man's phone beeped this time.

The man chuckle as he check his phone. "Oh... A call from my _Shah-thingy_ fetish customer and now I got a message from my addict text buddy. Haha...what a pain!." And he smirked at Hijikata. "You're opposite of each other...but my instinct says that you two get along really well when you meet in person."

"Stop ignoring me when I said I am..."replied Hijikata, then stopped when the man raised his hand and approached Ito.

"My, my what to do?!" Said the man as he scratched the back of his head comically. "Ito-san may I talk to you in a moment." The guy ignored Hijikata for the third time that pissed off the vice-chief more and more.

Hijikata just throw off his cigarette and step on it as hard as he can.

The Shinsengumi can't do anything but just to watch their former adviser with the eccentric guy as they walked away from them. The two seems conversing about something important they don't know-don't care.

Ito, who is facing them mumbling about something '_can't help it_' and '_they undoubtedly a great help' _thingy. The man wearing a green striped bucket back facing on them just raising, moving his hand while the other holding a cane, talking in a hissed way so they had no idea what they really talking about.

After a few minutes, Ito and the guy comes their way back with a friendly, somewhat a more suspicious smile.

"Oh how silly I am!" Blurted the man all of a sudden. "Forgive me for being rude. Please allow me to introduce myself properly." The said man took off his bucket hat and bowed his head. "I am the former _Captain of the 12th Division_, as well as the founder and the very first _President of the Shinigami Research and Development Institute_, Misuke Gurahara. Please to meet you all." He said politely, as he plastered a wickedly smile under the bucket hat as he wore it back.

"Captain? ...President of the ...-" Kondo and Hijikata asked dubiously, while Okita whose usually deadpanned now had the same reaction as the two older officer. "Shinigami Research-?"

"Yes. Shinigami. Not to mention I am myself was a former Shinigami." His eyes darken by the bucket hat and smirked towards the dumbfounded turned horrified Shinsengumi officers.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks GUYS for the reviews, follows and favoriting this fanfic. I really appreciate it.**

_* Yagba and Yagbols was actually a nasty words in my country...it's a slang terms for a men's balls, although I don't say it in exact words. Some of you readers might say why to used those words... I asked myself the same quesiton too...and besides we're talking about balls here...Please don't hate me, just disregard the Chapter title coz honestly have no idea what title should I write in it.. XD_

_**Enjoy ^_^**_


	4. Chapter IV

**Chapter 4 - Is cutting, destroying **

**and ****crushing Gin-san's balls is really fun?**

* * *

Just like Otose-san ordered them to do so, they willingly wandered around Edo hoping to meet someone who could give them even a little help to restore Gintoki's memory.

They wish to cross path with the infamous moderate Joui faction leader, Kotarou Katsura to ask for his assistance. Instead, they found Elizabeth sulking in the alley.

"Konichiwa Eli!" Kagura greeted cheerfully while munching her favorite pickled seaweed. "We want to ask if you saw Zura today? We need his help."

The _duck-lookalike-not-sure-if-he's-really-a-duck-creature _raise his placard, written. '_It's not Zura! It's Katsura'. _His usual vacant expression was somehow look gloomy that made them wondered and at the same time worried.

"Hm, Elizabeth-san. We don't know what happen, but...are you okay? It's rare to see you in town without Katsura-san."

Beads of tears form at the corner of Elizabeth's huge eyes. '_He went to a journey to help Gin-san.'_ The two teens doubted about it. Elizabeth stood in front of Gintoki and holds up his placard again. '_Gin-san, everything will be fine..._' After, Elizabeth let go of those tears he's suppressing for so long and run off without saying a words.

The two teens just look at each other dumbly, thinking what the heck just happened and shrugged nonchalantly and decided to searched for some more help.

* * *

"So you mean he didn't lost his balls?! Sarutobi squealed in happiness. She clasped her hands together with a lovey-dovey looks in her eyes. "It means..."

"That's what I'm trying to tell you Sacchan-san!" Shinpachi cutted. "I told you he lost his memory not his balls."

The ninja assassin gaped at the two teens and slowly slump on the floor. "You're not saying he's completely forgotten all the embarrassing things he did with me...and all those painful experiences that came with it, isn't it?"

The two teen heave a sigh. Here they go. Just how dumb and stupid the ninja stalker is. It's brighter than the sun that the Yorozuya leader Gintoki never, not in a million years will reciprocate her feelings. She may be pretty and serious towards the silver-hair samurai, but it's painful to admit it, Gintoki is not a type of a man who settled with a woman.

After Shinpachi and Kagura talked to Elizabeth, they spotted Sarutobi on the family restaurant and they decided to asked her, having a little faith that she can help them about Gintoki's situation, although they knew form the start that it was clearly useless and such pain in their asses.

Gintoki looking at her with this usual dead-fish eyes and ask. "What is your relationship with me?"

"How cruel?" Sarutobi cried louder. "We were on the brink of being marriage! You even wore a formal suit!"

"You're only saying things that are convenient to you. Those are the tricks of an evil con artist." Kagura accused, sitting next to Shinpachi, still munching her seaweed.

"Then you are my..."Gintoki replied.

Sarutobi rose from the floor and cup Gintoki's face, lean closer and whisper. "That's right Gin-san... I am your love S-L-A-V-E"

Both teens sweatdrop and drag the silver-hair samurai out of the restaurant. Regretting for asking the ninja stalker for help. Unexpectedly, Sarutobi snatched Gintoki away, carrying him in a bridal style and run as fast as she can trying to escape from them.

"I won't let you to have Gin-chan!" Kagura yelled as she shoots her umbrella towards Sarutobi.

"Gin-san.. I'll make you remember me..." Sarutobi said while running away. "We will live together from now on."

"Ano... I just want to remember who I am." Gintoki replied while he was carried by her.

"Remembering me was same as remembering your self. We will moved somewhere...to the place where no one knows us. We will start together as a new couple and live happily ever after..."

"Sarutobi!" Somebody shouted from behind with numerous kunais coming on their way.

Being a professional assassin as she are, Sarutobi easily dodges those kunais and lands on the roof. "Tsukky! How dare you?!"

"Don't ever call me Tsukky! And I won't let you to have Gintoki!" The Shinigami Daiyuu took out more kunais from her kimono and targeted the purple ninja who easily flew to escapes from her. "It's all my fault! So give him back to me and let me take the responsibility! He's mine!" She yelled as she preparing more of her kunais form her kimono, ready for another attack.

At the same time, Kagura starts to shoot Sarutobi with her umbrella along with Tsukuyo's kunais. Unfortunately, the ninja assassin lose balance that made her dropped the silver-hair samurai and fell from up.

"Gin-san! Gin-chan!" They all shouted in fear as the amnesiac samurai falling on the ground.

Shinpachi hurriedly ran to catch him, afraid to know what will gonna happen if one of those crazy women reach the samurai before him.

The megane teen sigh in relief the moment he hold Gintoki in his arms and settle to take him to their house, perhaps he can ask his sister for help.

* * *

"My that's awful! Has he forgotten about me too?!" Otae asked, sitting on the tatami mat in front of everyone.

"I'm sorry." replied Gintoki politely.

Otae smile. "Oh you still remember me right."

"He said I'm sorry." Shinpachi retorded. _'Why this whole thing seems familiar'_ he muttered quietly.

"No, he remembers. Don't play dumb with me. I remember him, but he doesn't remember me! That sucks! Who does he think he is!" Otae stated and shoved the mallet on her hand to Shinpachi. "Shin-chan, hit me with this so I forget my memories of Gin-san."

"Sis, what I am, a brain surgeon?

"No other choice! I'll make you remember me no matter what! If I duplicate the shock, I'm sure he'll remember!" Otae stood, attacking the amnesiac samurai.

"Sis not that! You'll put us where we started! Kagura exclaimed as she enter the room uninvinted, tried to stop Otae from assaulting Gintoki.

The moment Otae reach him, Gintoki gently hold her wrist then look at her. "I'm sorry. I still cannot remember you, but I know I will soon. Please be patient."

Otae blush from Gintoki's gentle gesture and her cheeks tainting with red. "What? Oh my, why my heart is pounding over someone like Gin-san? His eyes and eyebrows just look closer together...that's all. And his pupils are bigger...that's all."

"Sis?" asked Shinpachi, totally confused at her sister's reaction.

"Forget the past. Live looking forward rather that backward." She said with a warm smile.

"What you changed your mind? Why?" Shinpachi asked as he doesn't want what's going on his sister's head.

"Lock up that worthless Gin-san and live your life as the new Gin-san."

"Sis! That's like putting a cover on a smelly things to hide them. Did I say smelly?"

"What do I see in a man with dead-fish eyes anyways? I prefer Gin-san the way he is now compared to that frivolous Gin-san. He's almost...handsome." She stuttered.

"Why are your cheeks so red? You're blushing! You're not inlove with him are you? No way! I won't allow it! I absolutely refuse to become this creeps brother-in-law.

"This isn't about you..." Otae said, blushed furiously. She touched her cheeks, enjoying the newly bloomed feeling she had right now for the silver-hair samurai.

"She's right, Shinpachi-kun." Kyuubei Yagyuu cuts in, holding a gallon of Baagen-dazs and placed it on the table. "Forgive me Otae-san for coming unannounced. I heard the whole conversation. I can't believe that all those times thinking about Sakata-san's balls, he still had it with him. I can't say anything, but I'm relieved, and so happy about this."

Shinpachi gawk at her. '_What so happy about Gin-san having his balls, and beside he didn't lost it._' "Kyuubei-san, as you hear, Gin-san lost his memory not his ball." He heave a sighed. "Just how many times do I have to repeat that Gin-san didn't lose his balls."

"Shinpachi." Kagura called. "That's your role so don't complain."

"What the hell was that! And by the way don't just eat! We're leaving!"

"Hm?! This is strange..." Otae suddenly burst out. "I actually expected that gorilla stalker of mine to come out under the kotatsu... I mean this whole situation was like deja vu. As if it happened before except Kyu-chan came instead of that Gorilla."

"Now that you mention it Sis, I felt the same way too. I felt like we've done it before."

"Big sis! Shinpachi! Of course this situation is familiar. We just used some scenes and our conversation from Episode 31." Kagura said blantly. "The author of this fanfic did it on purpose. She's just lazing around during working hours, secretly watching Gintama again then memorize some of our dialogues and rewrites it."

"Maa, maa don't say that. The author probably love Gintama that much to watch it again." Otae said with a genuine smile.

Kyuubei sit next to Gintoki and offer the Baagen-dazs she brought. "Sakata-san, I know this is not the right time to talk about this. But I just want to help you out and make you remember some important things." She said while opening the ice cream container. "With this sweets, you might remember the important thing you promise me before you lost your memory."

Everyone look at Kyuubei with curiosity, not a single idea on what she's talking about.

"May I ask who are you?" asked Gintoki, glaring at the ice cream given by the one-eye woman in front of him. "It's odd. This ice cream was...as if talking to me to eat him..."

"Gin-chan!" Kagura hurriedly grabbed and shoved all the ice cream on his mouth in one go. "This ice cream is all you need to remember us!"

"Wait Kagura-chan...he made a promise to me!" Kyuubei panicked and stopped Kagura from feeding the amnesiac samurai. "Sakata-san...no... Gintoki, we are so close before you lose your memory and you even promise to donate your balls for me." And she draw her sword and shamelessly pushed and leaned atop Gintoki, pulling his pants.

"Ahh.. Kyuu-chan, please be gentle." Otae called, smiling with amusement. "I want Gin-san's balls for my omellette. I already think a name for it. Omelette A La Gintama...so make sure you left one for me." She giggled in excitement.

"What the hell! This is worst! Kagura-chan now!" Shinpachi quickly took one of Gintoki's hand while the other taken by Kagura then hurriedly escaped from his sister and the ball-fetish Yagyuu heir.

* * *

Takasugi sneer then motion one of his crew to leave after the said man deliver a news for him. "Heard that?" He asked the man sitting next to him. "who had thought that such thing exist. " he said calmly and puffed out a smoke from his kisure. "We gotta to change our plan..." He flicked his finger then the crew hurriedly back to his side. "Tell everyone that we're traveling on that planet...now."

Bansai sitting next to Takasugi playing with his shimasen, headphone on his ears not giving a single damn about the Kiheitai's leader plan. He just glance at the man and murmur. "You have an amazing beat that always impressive me. But just now, it's suddenly changed from smooth jazz into unknown classical love-hate tune."

Takasugi throw a meaningful gaze at the Bansai, then avert his eyes outside the room. "Is that so... I'll just have to make sure to have that Yagbols first and restore Gintoki's ball. Thinking of it makes my blood boils in excitement. Destroying Gintoki's balls is more fun than destroying this already rotten world." And he continued to puffed, gazing at the orange glow of the setting sun as their battleship started to move.

"I think I have to change my plan as well. " the young vermillion-haired Yato muttered, wearing a sly smile on his face. "I don't let Takasugi to lay a finger on my prey."

Abuto just dumbly glance at the young Yato and sigh. This is trouble he said to himself. "What's your plan?"

"Obviously, we'll go on that planet as well. I'll be the one who wish for that samurai's ball. To crush, to wreck it with my bare hands." Kamui balling his fist and his eyes slowly darken. "sounds fun isn't it?" He asked and walked out form his hiding place.

"it's ridiculous..." Abuto said, watching Kamui's back knowing that he couldn't stop the younger Yato from doing what he is planning now. '_Since when those two fancy crushing and destroying some guy's balls. What a scary turn of events...'_ He whispered and followed the younger Yato.

* * *

**A/N: THANKS for reading guys. This is not a YAOI. **

**There's some episodes I actually skipped, coz I only watch the Arcs episode. but this time I'll make sure not to miss any single episodes of Gintama :)**

_**karunebulous**: thanks for the review. I hope you enjoy it. _

_**Zura4eva** thanks for the review. Glad you like it. Honestly I'm into Yaoi stuff hehe...but this one is definetely not a Yaoi..this time I tried to write something Gintama-ish fanfic, though I'm not sure if I did it right..lolz_

_ **Nadhi-Yoshida **thanks... I'm glad you love it :)_


	5. Chapter V

**Chapter 5 - To travel in space with friends, ****enemies **

**and strangers are absolutely fun!**

* * *

"Forgive me." Gurahara said in a very deep voice that catches their attention. They stopped their bickering and turned their heads to looked at him. "This journey is quite dangerous and I hope everyone is aware about that. It may be a very personal question, but I need to know. Is Sakata-san's balls are really that important to you to risk your own life?" Everyone gaped at him, surprised by his sudden and quite malicious question.

"Shut up!" Hijikata snapped first and yelled at the man. "Don't make it sound that we are perverts and interested in his balls. And what the hell Katsura and Sasaki doing here anyway?!" He asked, pointing his sword at the faction leader and glaring at the Mimawarigumi chief. "I don't remember asking help from them! And I don't even know why I'm here damn it!"

"Hijikata-san." Toujou called the Shinsengumi vice-chief, one hand on his chest and bowed his head a bit. "I'm the one who bring Katsura-san and Sasaki-san for this journey. You may not permit it, but all of us here have one goal. To wish for Sakata-san's balls retrieval."

"Of course that's not the reason why I-"

"Hijikata." Sasaki cutted him. "one of the main reason why I'm here is because the Yagyuu guardian Toujou-san asks for this special assistance." He said without looking at the demon vice-chief, as he continued texting on his mobile phone. "But no one knows that even the elite officer like myself never expected this situation bound to happen."

"What do you mean by that, Sasaki-san?" Asked Kondo, never letting his guard down.

The Mimawarigumi leader glance at Kondo uninterested but answer. "Just like you witness Kondo-san, everyone here is join forces; willing to risk lives for his balls. But in my case, I don't really care whether he has balls or not. I still consider Gintoki Sakata as one of my favorite text buddy. That samurai defies all the reason." And everyone sweat dropped, gawking at him.

"Maa, maa. How stupid am I to asked such a question, it's obvious that Sakata-san is your dear friend." Gurahara chuckled.

"Enough of this non sense!" Hijkata is pissed-off. "We're already in Chapter 5 and we're still here on Earth! That stupid author, what is she thinking by getting us all together."

"Hijkata-san, I must warn you to stop badmouthing the author of this fanfiction." Said Gurahara, eyes darken under his bucket hat with a sly smile. "We had no idea what's running on her mind."

"Gurahara-san is right, Hijikata-san." Okita surprisingly agreed. "The author is into Yaoi stuff. Don't be surprised if this fanfic turned into Yaoi, having you and the boss as a lover."

"Shut up! And I don't care! All of those authors write something nasty about me and that stupid permed hair. How dare them to write something like that and make me a Uke!"

"Hijikata-san did you know that twenty five percent of Gintama fanfic is all about you and the Boss." Okita added, smiled deviously. "And most of it earned much reviews of writing for more stories about the two of you. And more lemon of course. Gintama fandom is really into GinHijiGin."

"Shut up... I don't wanna hear from someone who enjoys pairing up with the China girl." Hijikata scowled.

"You must be glad about that Toshi. You actually had the most dialogues and fanfic than the rest of us." Kondo said with a teary-eyed. "It's breaks my heart not to see much of a fanfic about me and Otae-san. It's always about you and the Yorozuya leader...and mostly Sogo with China." He snipped, tears start to drift from his eyes.

"Isao is absolutely right, Toshi." Ito agreed. "You may not notice this, but I have this feeling that those authors has a favoritism among us."

"I hate to say this, but this fiction is all about the Yorozuya's balls retrieval not about Toshi." Kondo added, wiping his tears whilst the rest just nodded their head in agreement.

_'Beep, beep, beep_' Sasaki continuing typing on his phone.

The demon vice-chief's vein pop out, lit another cigarette. "Shut the hell up! Don't blame me for this! Blame the bitch! Oi hat n' clog how about tell us how to get over this stupid conversation and send us to that planet!"

"Maa, maa...how rude but I have to agree with Hijikata-san, we mustn't waste any more time. The author must be angry at us for insulting her, so we better starts moving now." The guy said. He slowly walks towards the huge door standing in the middle of the cavern and opened it. "Allow me to present you the ship you're going to use to travel Yagba Planet." He said almost excited. "Alan de Leon...please." He called.

A huge built man with a black thick beard, wearing a tank top and boxer-short suddenly show up and split his chest. Slowly, a huge thing came out from his chest that shocks everybody. Their eyes set on the said thing as it slowly, fully out from the man's chest. "Sugoi! It's the famous Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon!" Everyone exclaimed, shocked turned into excitement and amazement as they saw the gigantic thing comes out and now standing in the middle of cavern.

Expect for the one person. "What the hell! It's just a penis! A giant penis!" The vice-chief angrily approached Gurahara and snatched his haori. "Don't make fool of us, damn it!"

"Hehehe." He chuckled. "Hijikata-san, you heard from everyone. I honestly admit, this ship may be resembled by Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Canon because it's actually inspired by it."

Katsura walk towards the ship and happily caress the humongous-thingy. "Gurahara-dono, this thing is amazing, it's almost real. Sugoi.."

"Don't flatter me much, Katsura-san." Gurahara said while covering his mouth with his fan, taking the faction leader's compliment seriously to his heart. "I was inspire to create this one since it's the only design that can fit to Garganta to be able to exit from our planet and easily reach Yagba Planet."

"Is that so?"

"Oi Katsura! Who said you're going with us?! You're going to jail damn it!"

"Stop it Toshi, Gurahara-san is going to open the Garganta now...so please forget arresting him for now. We haven't time for that." Said Ito.

"Hm, this is amazing. I must post it in my facebook." Sasaki said impassively, looking at his phone.

The infamous faction leader walk towards the man with curiosity. "Hmm.." Rubbed his check, standing next to Sasaki. "As expected from the famous Miwamagurimu chief. You took this photo really well. A professional indeed." Katsura commented, as the rest joined him to see what's on Sasaki's phone.

"I must say you do well, Sasaki-san" Okita said with a sadistic smile. "Would you tag me or send that photo as well." Okita asked, taking out his phone from his pocket.

"Any suggestion for a caption. I'll post it in my facebook and twitter." Sasaki asked. "As well into my Instagram."

"Shut up! Enough of this!" Yelled Hijkata, obviously annoyed and pissed the moment he sees Sasaki's phone having him on it. The moment he saw Okita's smile, he had this bad feeling that something on Sasaki's phone involves him. His instinct never get wrong specially when it comes to Okita.

And he's absolutely right, it's an image of him. He was standing in front of the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon look-alike-thingy that seems pointing at his wide open mouth, as if he's going to swallow it whole. The photo was clearly taken when the man named Alan de Leon taking out it out from his chest, leaving Hijikata off guard and gawking like an idiot. The demon vice-chief draws his sword fuming in anger that leads everyone to run for their lives. "I'll kill you all damn it!"

The man in green striped bucket hat sigh heavily as he watched them running around. "Oh they are here, finally!" Gurahara exclaimed loudly to get their attention and hopefully to calm the situation. _Or maybe not_. "Since this journey needs a Shinigami to exterminate those Shallows from preventing them to enter the real world. The Soul Society agrees to send the two of their best Shinigami to accompany all of you for this quest and at the same time for this special mission." He said, that finally took everyone's attention although they're still running around like a children tried to avoid being caught by Hijikata's wrath.

A young but tall teen with bright orange hair together with a red hair guy with a tattoo on his forehead appear out of nowhere. "Minna...let me introduce you the two most skilled Shinigami of Soul Society." He said, almost proud.

"Yo... Kenji Mabarai here" said the red hair guy with a mocking salute.

"Hello." Greets the orange hair teen, holding a long sword as tall as himself. "Michigo Kuroasski, nice to meet you all." He said, with a arrogant smirk.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading guys :). Sorry for self-insertion hehehe...**

**Misuke Gurahara (Kisuke Urahara) Kenji Mabarai (Renji Abaraj) and Michigo Kuroasski (Ichigo Kurosaki) obviously a parody from Bleach. **

**Alan De Leon (Alaindelon) - parody from Beelzebub**

**Enjoy and hopefully read a Reviews from You ^_^**


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